If you've read one of my comments on my wifes blog, you'll know that I'll be giving updates as to my wifes happenings thoughough the day. Of course, that's probably why you are here.
Let me start off by saying, I love my wife. I think she is great. However, she does have this weird issue with housework. Not only does she not like it, I think she is allergic to it. All of a sudden when it's time to do housework, she gets ADD and starts focusing on something else, mainly reading.
I know I'm going against the grain here since all of you are apart of the reading colt and are Nicole's friends, but let me say that I do my fair share of cleaning and more. I know my wife will vouch for that. So, for your (or my) reading pleasure, I will keep you up to date on my wifes daily cleaning happenings and maybe mine.
She wrote a blog yesterday that said she took the day off from cleaning (Wednesday) b/c she was cleaning so hard on Tuesday. She said she did the dishes, 3 loads of laundry, and mopped the floors. Not bad, but really worthey of taking the next day off completely? We still had a ton more laundry that needed to be done, kids rooms that needed to be cleaned, the bathroom needed to be done, etc. I put in a load of wash when I got home and helped Abby clean her room. Well, more like I cleaned Abby's room while she watched me.
Now on the weekends I typically clean the entire house from top to bottom (except our bedroom). This way, Nicole has less to do during the week, except to clean up after the rug rats. She still finds it hard to keep up with that. She'll either read all day, watch TV, or sleep. Yes, I'll come home and ask what she did and she gets all pissed at me. I don't even ask in a mean way at first, but it turns into an argument. She'll say she was playing with the kids all day and that she did do stuff. LIAR!!! Sometimes I'll plant stuff around the house in obvious places to see if she picks it up. NOPE! Still there when I get home. Oh well....
I know she'll read this and I'm not trashing my wife. She brought it up so I figured I'd run with it and prove my point too.
Late...
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5 comments:
I'm trying to think of a way to say what I think without being a b*tch and without undermining either side of this argument.
1) This is one of the top reasons why I could never be an SAHM. The battle regarding cleaning. To be fair, if one of you works outside the home all day, the other should keep the house reasonably clean and do cooking. But since you both work outside the home, delegating chores is even worse. But can you honestly say you don't take breaks while you are at work? So why can't she if the home is her "work". Also, wouldnt' you rather the house be kinda messy but the kids have fun with their mommy? Or the alternative,she could turn into Danny Tanner and you will never be able to put your feet up on the coffee table, muching on pretzels in the front room, while watching the game.
2) If you were at home all day, would you want to clean all day, everyday? I know N is not home all day everyday and has a "real" job too so this is doubled up.
3) I'm suprised that in six years of marriage you haven't learned how to get her to do what you want without being an ass (not saying you are being one).
4) You guys could do laundry 24/7 and never be caught up. Never.
Ugh. I gotta go.
Well, since I know Nicole as well as I do (and I can say all of this because 1) I love her like a sister and 2) she's EXACTLY like me in this area) I can tell you hat...well, I agree with you. For the most part.
The truth is, like me, she's kind of lazy. And when we clean, we do this like deep, organized cleaning thing. Which means, basically, that drawers, shelves, cupboards etc. will be clean, but the surface stuff won't. Which means the house looks messy. We could spend hours cleaning and it would look like we accomplished basically nothing.
Now, OTOH, I understand where you're coming from. But I would think if it bothered you enough, you'd set up a list of chores that need to be done and y'all would split it. Perhaps, because N hates doing laundry, you could do that part and she could take over..the dishes and toys? Something along those lines.
What I think is great (on your part) is that you're willing to jump in and help. My ex wouldn't have dreamed of it. So, she's got a good thing there.
Charm is partially right, but I know how Niks is. She'll start something and then right in the middle move on to something else (again, this is SOOO me), leaving a bigger mess in her wake than when she started.
BUT, I also know that she feels really guilty for not getting as much done as you expect her to (or, for that matter, SHE expects her to), which means, when you ask her about it, no matter how innocently, she takes offense. It's her own guilty conscience working against you both.
I would say to make a list. And each day y'all cross your chores off as they get done. This works for me (of course, I live alone, so I can do what I want, but still) and my house is (for the most part) presentable. It won't ever be an immaculate showplace (just like yours won't) but I'm not embarrassed to open the door, either.
See, good compromise. :)
Holly channeling her inner Dr. Phil works wonders! Seriously. She even made me feel guilty!
It's the Italian Catholic in me, Charm. LOL
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